Welcome.

This is my second blog. My first can be found at http://www.itstartedwithaguitar.blogspot.com/ .

I found that I was torn between writing about the little things that happen on a day-to-day basis, and ranting as I so love to do, so I thought I'd separate the two.

Here you'll find all the joys and hardships of my life as a mom. You'll hear all about how I, like most mother's, are a mother first, above all else, and also all about all the firsts I've encountered as a mother, and the new firsts I'm sure I will encounter. I'll try to back track a bit, get all caught up on those things missed so far, so that we can really get to know each other. Or at least, you'll know me.

I became a mother near the end of the summer of 2007. I was 23, clueless, and a little reluctant to grow up. That changed in a matter of seconds. My daughter was place in the NICU within an hour of being born. It was a scary thing at the time, but in retrospect, she kind of sounded like a goat when she cried. Since no one could tell us what was wrong with her, I automatically jumped to the worst case scenario every time anyone even mentioned her.

Fortunately, it was a minor birth complication, that eventually fixed itself, and after a lot of hospital drama, and a seemingly eternity long week, we were able to bring her home.

Honestly I would have to say that I didn't quite feel like a mother until she was about 3 months old. Perhaps I was too sleep deprived to feel much of anything, but what I did feel was that someone was going to come and pick her up, like it was a temporary arrangement. I didn't want anyone to come pick her up, I loved her more than anything, it just didn't feel real to me.

Once she started interacting, smiling, moving and playing, it all became real. I woke up one morning, after sleeping through the night for the first time in months, I couldn't imagine my life any other way, and I felt human for the first time in almost a year.

There have been a lot of first since becoming pregnant. There's the first time you're excited about setting up the nursery, the first time you actually bring yourself to purchase something other than pre-natal vitamins for this little person growing inside you. The first time you hear the heart beat, the first kick, the first time you send daddy-to-be out to buy you something ridiculous and edible in the middle of the night.

There's the obvious, the first time you give birth, the first time you hold your baby, feed your baby, change your baby. Then there's the not so obvious, the first, second, third and fourth time you stare at your baby while she's sleeping, trying to watch her breath, worrying that she's not, considering waking her up, all the while there's this voice screaming at you in the background. It's you're own voice, and it's screaming at you to shower and sleep.

There's the first time you attempt to shave your legs post-pregnancy. That was also the first time I've ever cut myself shaving.

There's the first time you leave your baby with someone else so you can have "you" time. You spend the whole time worrying about the baby, feeling like a horrible person, and mostly wanting to sleep.

There are other obvious first, the first time baby rolls over, crawls, makes you think she's going to start walking, then months later actually starts walking. First foods, first outings, first words.

Right now, Abby and I are experiencing jumping, climbing, singing, and potty training. She'll be two in September. For those of you who are interested, our first experiences with permanent markers, and Vaseline in the hair can be found on my other blog.

I'm finding this post to be a little long, so I'll end it here, but there is always more to come.